DATES TO REMEMBER FOR 2013

JANUARY 16: Les Mis

FEBRUARY 1: Warm Bodies

FEBRUARY 13: Beautiful Creatures

FEBRUARY 14: A Good Day to Die Hard

MARCH 19: Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare

MARCH 20: GI Joe: Retaliation

MARCH 29: The Host

APRIL 12: Scary Movie 5

MAY 3: Iron Man 3

MAY 17: Star Trek: Into Darkness

MAY 24: Fast and Furious 6 ll The Hangover: Part 3

JUNE 14: Man of Steel

JUNE 31: World War Z ll Kick-Ass 2

JULY 3: Despicable Me 2

JULY 12: Grown Ups 2 ll Pacific Rim

JULY 26: The Wolverine

JULY 31: The Smurfs 2

AUGUST 2: 300: Rise of an Empire ll RED 2

AUGUST 16: Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

AUGUST 23: The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

SEPTEMBER 6: Riddick

SEPTEMBER 20: Star Wars: Episode 2 ll -Attack of the Clone

NOVEMBER 8: Thor: The Dark World

NOVEMBER 22: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

DECEMBER 13: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

DECEMBER 25: 47 Ronin 

Is it just me, or did we used to have normal-smelling shampoos before? Everything was strawberry, and peppermint, and citrus. Nice, normal things.

Now I pick a bottle up and it’s like DEW GATHERED BY MONKS FROM THE HIMALAYAN MOUNTAINS MIXED WITH A ROOT OF AN ASNCLSCHBK PLANT THAT GROWS ONLY IN AN OBSCURE VILLAGE IN AMAZONIA, WITH A DASH OF MAGICAL BERRIES FROM NARNIA TO GIVE YOUR HAIR VOLUME.

AND IT STILL SMELLS LIKE CITRUS TO ME.

normal teenagers: has sex, does drugs, parties

parents: don’t do it again

me: doesn’t do the dishes

parents: YOU ARE OUT OF CONTROL YOU ARE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART